Dating with Genital Herpes – The Perils and Possibilities of STD Dating

One of the biggest problems of dating with genital herpes is that about half of adults who have the disease don't know they have it. They don't take appropriate precautions for preventing the spread of the disease to their sexual partners, and their partners don't know that special care is needed to avoid getting the infection.

While an occasional genital itch is not a cause for concern, anyone who has ever had symptoms for several days needs to have a blood test to determine HSV (herpesvirus) infection before dating with herpes. The problem is, not very many people do. Here are five things everyone needs to know about dating when herpes may go undiagnosed and unprevented.

  1. About 50 per cent of newly diagnosed cases of herpes in the genitals are caused by the "oral" virus.

    2. There are two major kinds of herpesvirus, HSV-1, which used to be considered the oral, or cold sores virus, and HSV-2, the herpesvirus associated with genital sex. Oral sex, however, can lead to "oral" herpesvirus infections of the genitals, which are just as unpleasant as infections with the "genital" virus, although they don't cause as many future outbreaks. If you have had an infection with HSV-1 in the mouth, then you are fully capable of giving someone else an HSV-1 infection of the genitals, although you are slightly less likely to get an HSV-1 infection of your genitals from someone else.

  2. About 70 per cent of transmissions of herpesvirus occur when the infected partner is not having any symptoms.

    3. During the first year after infection, an infected person may have sores only for six to twelve days but shed the virus from the infected mouth or genitals for up to sixty days. Even in years a person has no outbreaks at all, he or she may be capable of infected others for up to thirty days—and there is no way of knowing when this is happening. Condoms and medication help prevent the spread of the disease.

  3. Anyplace that is covered by boxer shorts can be infected by the herpesvirus.

    4. Not just the genitals, but also the anus, buttocks, pelvis, and thighs can be infected by herpes. Tiny, sometimes invisible, nicks and scratches in these areas can absorb the virus. Herpesvirus can also be transmitted during anal intercourse.

  4. Using condoms during sexual intercourse reduces the rate of infection, not to zero, but by over 80 per cent.

    5. Condoms aren't perfect, but they greatly reduce the risk of transmission of genital herpes. Even condom is, of course, won't protect partners when there are active herpes sores on either partner's genitals. The condoms can break or fall off, and disposing of the condom can also transmit the infection. It's even possible to pick up herpes infections in some parts of the body that are not usually infected, such as the fingers, eyes, and trunk, by intentional or inadvertent contact with sexual fluids.

  5. One way to be sure your partner is dealing with herpes is to meet through an online dating service specializing in connecting people interested in dating with herpes.

    6. There are some dating services that specialize in finding partners for people who have herpes infections. If you meet someone through this service, you know you need to take precautions, and so do they.

Genital herpes is sometimes described as the "epidemic nobody wants to talk about." Taking appropriate precautions, however, may keep you from becoming one of the tens of millions who are infected.

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